“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -Winston Churchill
“Be prepared at any given moment to give up your job to do what is right, you have to stand up for what is right.” – ID State Rep. Matt Shea
I “called out” politely a reputation expert’s viewpoint about reputation. A “call out” is calling out something negative versus a “shout out” is shouting out something good. What was her point that I countered her position? You have “One Shot.”
The blog title Are You Taking Advantage Of Your “One Shot”? that you only get one shot. Her blog post goes on using this “one shot” expression, but her examples don’t mix with her title.
I countered her thought on LinkedIn and I suggested in essence that she should have said, “You have One Life” in which to live, but “potentially many shots.” Why? Because I was hoping she could see the potential in the word change and change her view.
I perceive her underlying motivation of “one shot” comes from a number of perspectives, of which only she can best explain, since it is her post. Personally, I dislike the phrase “one shot” or other limiting opportunities because it comes a negative view of life, potentially motivated by perfectionism, fear, etc., or FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt). If you read her writings, this “one shot” idea is a regular theme, hence my open discussion of this idea. But in one case she is correct, it’s about one’s decisions about life and death. You only have one chance at a decision to make correctly that affects one’s destiny with death and eternity. There are no “do overs” once you’re dead. That one choice one makes IS a one shot decision, and here I would totally agree with her.
In another case, you need to watch what you do and say, including those things you post on the internet, especially through social media. As a seasoned professional, she knows how businesses can snoop and dig into your various “postings” to find stuff about you, and it’s all legal. What about unethical? But it does say we need to watch, be careful or prepared, of what we say. However, to be paranoid, overly cautious, or just plain skittish of offending another person is bad form as well. No one should ever be afraid to tell the truth.
But in reality, in both business and life, we all get more than one shot in most cases. It is rare that both in business and life where there is that “one shot” decision. But the key to living life is to know which are “one shots” decisions and which are not, and being prepared for those decisions when one confronts them. What bothered me by her “one shot” phrase was because it is like saying you only get one chance at bat, one shot at marriage, one shot at a career, or one shot at life living purposely. Balderdash!
Her blog states, “We work on the importance of integrity, credibility and meaning as it builds towards an ultimate legacy that will live well beyond their earthly years. I call this ‘taking advantage of the One Shot.'”
Sorry, while you and I only have one life, it’s wrong to say we only have one shot. Because we each have many shots with which to take advantage of the many opportunities, because life does give you “do overs” and allows you to redirect your personal decisions to make your life and another’s life better, and because God allows it and expects it. Why? Because it’s called forgiveness.
Forgiveness, based on love, means getting another shot. But forgiveness depends on whether or not one is forgiving or not, and is willing to accept faults. Of oneself and others.
It reminds me of a young gentleman who I worked with named Ryan a number of years ago. He had a heart for the homeless, as he had spent some time homeless himself. He cleaned up his life and got married. He and his wife would take food and various essentials down to the homeless and he would give them hugs. Yep, hugs. Even as smelly, filthy, and dirty as they were, he would give them hugs. He told the story that one gentleman he hugged said, “I have not had someone touch me in YEARS, let alone give me a hug! Thank you so much. You made me feel like a person again.” I learned from Ryan that day. I learned (am still learning) not to look down on others, no matter what their situation is. So thanks, Ryan, for the lesson.
You see, Ryan and I both believe we get multiple shots, at life and business. Whether customers, family members, friends, business colleagues, or vendors, the question becomes: If you get multiple shots, do you give others the same chance?
You have one life, but many shots. So take the swings at the opportunities that come to you. Live and learn, live and learn.
Do I hold grudges? No. Am I hurt? No. Will she friend me again? I hope so, because I like her and what she’s doing with her life. But she made the decision to unfriend me. I enjoy those that I can learn from, from all perspectives. But I also like to debate and discover answers to life’s questions.
While you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression, your subsequent perceptions should back up your first. Otherwise, you made a bad first perception.
Update 07/09/13 21:00
My wife and I had a discussion about this issue. She agreed with Lida that first impressions DO make or break someone. So, we’ll have to agree to disagree.
Perfect is the enemy of good. So take another shot with someone you don’t know, or never would have known. Watch as Dustin Hoffman sees things through a different lens of life. He takes another shot to do better in the future.